To Compromise or Not Compromise That is the Question

Never change yourself to fit someone else’s needs, because guess what–their needs will change.

I made that statement to someone last week and it stuck with me all weekend. I’m single and meeting new people and wonder if I’m too outspoken, but then I thought about it. If a man can’t deal with a strong willed woman, then he shouldn’t waste my time nor his.

I asked myself the question–How many times have you compromised in a past relationship? The truth. More than I care to put out into cyberspace. But I refuse to compromise again. I had a nice talk with one of my exes recently and they were shocked at some of the things I told them. Mainly because I held back some things when we were together because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. In the end, me holding back was one of the causes that led to the demise of our relationship. It got to a point where I didn’t care to be in his presence but I wasn’t communicating a lot of issues I was having with him.

Going forward, I promised myself that I will express myself more and be me and whoever can’t deal with it, can keep on keeping on.

Do We Know What We Want?

Have you ever set down and wrote out a list of the qualities you’re looking for in a man? You know the list that is your ideal Mr. Right. Have you ever met a man that’s come close to the things you have on your list? If so, are you with the guy now or did you find out that the guy isn’t really the guy you wanted even though he fit the criteria you’ve been searching for.

I know exactly what I want, but unfortunately I haven’t met “him” yet 🙂

One of my male friends insists that we women say we want a good man with x,y,z qualities, but when we get him we find something else wrong…I told him he’s got it all twisted.  So the question I ask is do you think we really know what we want or we, as women, never satisified?

Wealth of Your Spirit

Thought for Today: WEALTH OF YOUR SPIRIT

The most accurate measure of our worth is how much we value ourselves. When we value who we are, we are sure to draw to us others who value us as much. When we are needy, deficient, lacking confidence and self-esteem, we will find ourselves in situations and among people that reinforce those views.The first step in building relationships is learning to value who we are. We cannot convince others how wonderful and marvelous we are if we do not believe it. We must first convince ourselves. If we repeatedly find ourselves in situations where we are treated badly, we are responsible, not the other person. When we find ourselves in situations where we do not feel wanted, we must have the courage and confidence to leave. Our sense of worth must first come from within. When we have that, we can expect those in our relationships will value us as well.

The wealth of my spirit is the light of my world.—“Acts of Faith”

Calling All Bloggers

Next week, I’m opening up the spot for guest blogging.

If you are interested in being a guest blogger during December, please leave a message in the comments field or contact me at sheliagoss@aol.com and I’ll let you know which day I’ll need your post.

The subject should be about relationships. Let’s have some fun.

What Does Paige’s Web & The Great Debaters Have in Common?

 The main character Paige loves Denzel and Denzel stars in The Great Debaters. Not only that, you now have a chance to win a copy of the soundtrack before the movie hits theaters on December 25th.

If you’ve read Paige’s Web, leave a review on Amazon.com and be entered to win a copy of The Great Debaters soundtrack.

You can also be entered to win by leaving a comment on this post.

The contest will end at midnight eastern time on Friday, December 14th.

Good luck!

P.S. – Void where prohibited by law and this contest is open to U.S. residents only.

Book Picks of the Week

The Plural Thing Spiritually Preparing for your Soul Mate The Plural Thing is not just a book – its filled with words of wisdom to empower the reader to lead an enriched life. The Plural Thing by Linda Dominique Grosvenor

Feels Like Falling Fall in Love this winter in this cozy read from Michelle McGriff. Feels Like Falling  By Michelle McGriff

Hell Has No Fury From a master of suspense, Hell Has No Fury is a thriller you don’t want to miss.Hell Has No Fury By Keith Lee Johnson

Wicked Ways Donna Hill is back with the follow up to her other page-turner “Getting Hers.”Wicked Ways picks up where it stopped. Readers won’t be disappointed. Wicked Ways By Donna Hill   More Stocking Stuffers      Roses Are Thorns,Violets Are True

One G String Short of Crazy Since I wrote my own book about twins, I love finding other books about them. Desiree Day’s latest novel is a page-turner and has plenty of “oh no she didnt'” moments. One G-String Short of Crazy By Desiree Day  My Invisible Husband Paige’s Web – A Great Stocking Stuffer

Blow Your Mind This twisted tale will have you glued to the pages. Eric Pete has another hit on his hands.Blow Your Mind  By Eric Pete

CD Picks for the Month

This Christmas Even if you haven’t seen the movie, This Christmas is a soundtrack that should be added to your Christmas music collection. This Christmas while entertaining family and friends, put this CD in and enjoy good company and good music.  This Christmas-Songs from the Motion Picture

Miss Patti’s Christmas Miss Patti’s Christmas will surely become a classic choice every Christmas season. Miss Patti’s Christmas

I’ll Be Home for Christmas The Isley Brothers I’ll Be Home for Christmas CD not only contains the normal holiday songs, but entertains listeners with a few new songs. I’ll Be Home for Christmas

As I Am If you listen to As I Am, you’ll see why Alicia Keys is one of my favorite female artists. Whether she’s snging a ballad or something more up-tempo, she has the keys to success–a great voice and music selection.As I Am

Jordin Sparks The 2007 American Idol winner self titled album Jordin Sparks is a great debut album. Its easy to see why America voted for Ms. Sparks. Jordin Sparks

Blackout BLACKOUT was better than what I thought it would be. For those who like Pop music or Pop music mixed with a little Techno, BLACKOUT, won’t disappoint.Blackout

The Great Debaters For something a little different, treat yourself to The Great Debaters soundtrack and don’t forget to go watch the movie on December 25th. The Great Debaters

Exclusive Chris Brown’s Exclusive is mature enough for adults to enjoy, yet tame enough so parents won’t feel guilty buying it for the young adults in their lives. Exclusive

NOW 26 Whether you like R & B, Hip-Hop, Pop or Rock,  NOW 26 has several hit songs on it from this past year.NOW 26

The Best of 2Pac Enter to Win The Best of 2Pac CD

Growing Pains Enter to Win Mary J Blige’s New CD and two other CDs

Fight of My Life Enter to Win Kirk Franklin’s New CD

OPB Friday – Reality, Humor, Flashback, and more

O.P.B. stands for Other People Blogs. These are a few places I visited this past week. Check them out:

Peggy Eldridge Love’s post on Blogging in Black, made me think:

Who Will Tell Your Story?

If you watch ABC’s Desperate Housewives, you may want to chime in on the conversation over on Bettye Griffin’s blog…especially if you saw last Sunday’s episode.

Okay, some of you know that I watch the crazy reality show – I Love New York. Well check out this funny blog entry over at DC Speaks. Got to love it:  Guest investigator honors goes to?…

A Hip-Hop moment…check it out over at Gwyneth’s Blog.

Speaking of hip-hop, don’t forget to enter the 2Pac Cd contest:

Contest – Enter to Win The Best of 2Pac CD

Jackie Young Writes gives the Recipe for a Happy New Year:

Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible. Read on…

Mr. Slish tells it like it is in Grounded For Life:

My 5 pennies to the women hoping to marry a BALLER!. Do what K.imora did. Marry an old fool,  give him two beautiful kids, get him to give you your own clothing line, and file  for DIVORCE….Read on…

Thank Monica Jackson for this week’s eye-candy.

 I don’t know who this actor is, but he sure is a nice hunk of chocolate.  I can see a sista coming to blows over him. To read more…

Love Prefers Twilight to Delight

Love Prefers Twilight to Delight has posted an interview with yours truly.

Hello Ladies and Gents I’m excited today to be interviewing our first Kensington author. So lets get to it shall we.
To read the interview, CLICK HERE

Contest – Mary J Blige, Isley Brothers and Miss Patti

Its the Christmas season and the giving just won’t stop…take a look at the new contest I posted over on my entertainment site.

Can’t go wrong with a 3 for 1!!!

Contest – Enter to Win CDs from Mary J Blige, The Isley Brothers and Patti Labelle

Mary J. Blige – “Growing Pains”

 

The Isley Brothers – “I’ll be Home for Christmas” 

                                 

 Patti Labelle – “Miss Patti’s Christmas”

                   

Tea Anyone???

This is a repeat for some since I posted it Sunday night on Blogging in Black…but here you go:

When you were a little girl, did you ever play the “tea party game” with either other friends or your dolls? Well, I did. Sunday, I actually attended my second adult tea party - “A Tea and Conversation.” The same group of ladies invited me last year and fortunately for me, their members wanted me to come back. Who knows, this may be a yearly thing

I like going to events that aren’t typical “book signings.” An event such as a “tea party” is so much more fun. Nice people;books; tea; conversation; it doesn’t get better than that. Well, it does because I won a few games and walked away with a few door prizes (sometimes I can be competitive…smile). I just love my beautiful new fine bone china tea cup and saucer. Once again, I came away with not only a cute tea cup and new readers, but hopefully some new friends.

P.S. – I have pictures but don’t feel like loading to my server…if you want to see pics of some of the tea cups people brought, I’ll email the pics to you.

P.S.S. – I’m invited to another tea party in a few weeks. The quest to find the perfect fine bone china tea cup and saucer is on.

Tupac Fans – New CD & A Chance to Win It

One of the companies I work with has offered me free CDs to provide to my readers. This week my entertainment site will be hosting several CD contests.

First up is the legendary 2Pac.

Contest – Enter to Win The Best of 2Pac CD

December Newsletter – Seasons Greetings

Happy Holidays from Author Shelia M. Goss Greetings! May peace and joy fill your lives this holiday season. I appreciate the support you’ve shown me this past year.  Since my last newsletter, I’ve gotten a chance to meet a lot of new people. Some of you have emailed me after reading Paige’s Web and I appreciate it. I would like to thank SistahFriend Book Club for spotlighting my book on their website. I also want to tell the ladies of Girlfriends, Inc of Memphis  that I enjoyed your book club meeting. You ladies know how to dig deep and brought up some good points. Don’t forget to invite me to the party (smile). A special thanks goes out to the SisterCircle Book Group for hosting the Paige’s Web Book Release Party a few weeks ago. This release was special thanks to you all. Me in the Red Honey Bun Cake Recipe1 package Betty Crocker SuperMoist yellow cake mix 2/3 cup vegetable oil 4 eggs 1 container (8 ounces) sour cream (1 cup) 1 cup packed brown sugar 1/3 cup chopped pecans 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 cup powdered sugar 1 tablespoon milk 1 teaspoon vanilla1. Heat oven to 350ºF. Grease rectangular pan, 13x9x2 inches, with shortening; lightly flour. 2. Beat dry cake mix, oil, eggs and sour cream in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Spread half of the batter in pan. Stir together brown sugar, pecans and cinnamon; sprinkle over batter in pan. Carefully spread remaining batter evenly over pecan mixture. 3. Bake about 47 minutes or until deep golden brown. Stir powdered sugar, milk and vanilla until thin enough to spread. Prick surface of warm cake several times with fork. Spread powdered sugar mixture over cake. Cool completely, about 1 hour. Store covered.The Greatest Gift By Shelia M. Goss Christmas is a time for giving   And a time for Love.       The Greatest Gift of All Is from heaven above.  Remember, not clothes, not jewelry        Or other things you may get.       But Jesus, our Savior,      Comes bearing the Greatest Gifts. www.sheliagoss.com All the best to you and your family, Shelia M. Goss  Stocking Stuffers Books make great stocking stuffers. Most of my books can be found in stores, but if they are sold out, you can order them from any of the online retailers. Pick up your copy of Paige’s Web and treat a friend 🙂For more information, go to www.sheliagoss.com.  Double Platinum by Shelia M Goss To the world, R&B mega star Parris Mitchell has it all: fame, money, jewelry and several gold and platinum records to go along with it. But now, with her singing career declining, she struggles with depression. Her last few albums were disappointments not only to her record label because of low sales, but to her devoted fans.Casper Johnson is one of the hottest and most sought after producers in the music industry. All of the media attention has garnered “The Hit Maker” a playboy image. He’s getting tired of the same old sound and he’s looking for the right voice to help take his career to the next level. Parris agrees to give Casper a chance to revive her career.When they get together, their working relationship quickly crosses the line and their drama from groupies and people from their past becomes the source of plenty of print for the paparazzi. DOUBLE PLATINUM BY SHELIA M GOSS will be in stores March 2008. List Price: $6.99 To Pre-Order: Amazon.com

Christmas Edition…

I’m modifying the rules to fit the “blogsphere.” Thanks Kem for sending this to me.

Welcome to the ‘Christmas Edition’ of getting to know your friends.

 1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper for kids and family gifts and gift bags for friends gifts or when I have to go to a party and bring a gift
2.Tree–Real or Artificial? Artificial…saves money all the way around

3.When do you put Christmas tree up?   It’s up now…anytime after Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? Who says I take it down…lol…usually sometime in January…it’s fun putting it up…but I sure hate to take it down.
5. Like egg nog?   No…don’t like the stuff.
6. Do you have a nativity scene?   On my computer…does that count.

7. Favorite gift received as a child?  Black Barbie Doll, record player and the list goes on and on…I received so many.
8. Hardest person to buy for? Who said I was buying anything this year… (smile) but that would be for my mom

9. Easiest person to buy for?  Myself…because I know exactly what I want.
10. Worst Christmas gift? A bunch of Christmas stuff in a basket that I couldn’t use until the next Christmas…I’m like…excuse me, but could have I gotten something I could use during the rest of the 11 months.

11. Mail or email a Christmas card?  Mail…what’s that…you know I’m the email queen…but yes, there are old friends I still mail Christmas cards too…everybody else–EGREETINGS!
12. Favorite Christmas movie?  Although not really a Christmas movie, but they show it every year around this time is IMITATION OF LIFE…that movie has me in tears every time I watch it. I also like Scrooge.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?  The day after Thanksgiving–Black Friday.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?  Do you want the truth or fiction (hee hee)? If I did, I wouldn’t put out in cyberspace.
15. Favorite food to eat on Christmas?  Glazed Ham/Pound cake/Sweet Potatoe Pie/Pecan Pie and my mama’s cornbread dressing (not that jiffy stuff).

16. Colored or clear lights? Both
17. Favorite Christmas Song? This Christmas by Donny Hathaway & Silent Night by the Temptations run neck-n-neck!!!
18. Travel during Christmas or Stay home? When I lived elsewhere, I would travel back home for Christmas…but now that I’m living at home, I stay home.
19. Can you name Santa’s reindeer’s? Yep (I think…) Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitson… and Rudolph 🙂

20. Angel or Star on Tree top? Star
21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? If it’s at a friend’s party or holiday party, gifts are open during the party…all other gifts are open on Christmas Day (unless I sneak and peek).

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Not having my entire family around due to distance and/or death…but I have plenty of good Christmas memories.  

Okay, here’s what you’re supposed to do and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy and paste into a new blank BLOG POST. Change all the answers so they apply to you. It’s the season to be cheerful!! So here’s wishing each of you a very Merry Christmas!!!

I Once Believed

I once believed that if I loved the man I was with unconditionally, that he would return the love unconditionally. Not only would he love me, he would always have my best interest at heart.

I once believed that if I opened up and just be myself that he would learn to appreciate me for who I am and not for what he could get out of me. I thought communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings would bring us closer and that maybe my opinions actually did matter.

Reality stung when I realized that I was the only person in love, not him. Feeling as if I spent wasted hours and wasted years on something that was not to be; wondering sometimes hopelessly if I’ll ever find true love or continue this life’s journey by myself.