OPB – A New Week

O.P.B. stands for Other People Blogs. These are a few places I visited this past week. Check them out:

We all would like to think we would live forever.  

Keep in mind I don’t mean for this to come off as chauvinistic but I’d like to ask one not so simple question:

When did it become all about the woman? 

Ladies, go check it out @ Flip The Script.

If you want a good laugh, check out. Bettye Griffin’s blog CHEWING THE FAT WITH BETTYE. I’m still laughing. Friday Funny, AKA The Obedient Wife There was a m…

Ladies, if you want some eye-candy, go to Adrianne Byrd’s blog: Hot Hunk Thursday presents: Boris Kodjoe

For a bit of nostalgia, visit Lori’s Old School Mix blog. What’s one of your favorite childhood games?

For the Fellows – The Man Rules

These are courtesy of Mike. These are funny…all I can say is Yeah right 🙂

Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ”
ON PURPOSE! 
(side note: Is it that men can not only follow directions, but they can’t count…oops)

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to
us with a problem only
if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not

A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or

golf.1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape.

 Round IS a shape!1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.Pass this to as many men as you can –
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can –  

 to give them a bigger laugh.

By Shelia Posted in Jokes

Dear Employee

This is courtesy of Shaye (Imagine getting a letter like this):

Dear Employee,

    It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

    We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
     INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF: She’s a f___ing bit__.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
     INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
     INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
     INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh___ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
     INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f___ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
    INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
     INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.
10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
       INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
       INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
       INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
       INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
       INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I’m on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
      INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
      INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
      INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

 18) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
        INSTEAD OF: He’s a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

By Shelia Posted in Jokes

Joke – The Peacock

Thanks M.M. for sending me this joke. You rock!

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court.  I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.  The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.The old man kept staring at him.  The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.  When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”The old man did not bat an eye in his response, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.  I was just wondering if you were my son.”

By Shelia Posted in Jokes

Swollen Legs

 Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself :
Man: “May I buy you a cocktail?”

Maxine: “No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.”

Man: “Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”
Maxine: “No, they spread
..”

By Shelia Posted in Jokes