If you’ve ever been cheated on then you know how it feels to be betrayed. The one who is supposed to have your back, stabs you in the back. Sometimes the woman he cheated with might not know he’s already involved, but then there are times, well there are times when they know.
The old saying “it takes two to tango” holds true for cheating. Have you ever met a guy and knew he was offlimits, but still felt the need to get to know him better? Did you trick yourself into believing you could just be friends, but ended up in between the sheets? Did he make false promises saying that his wife or girlfriend doesn’t understand him and he can’t wait to get rid of them for you?
If you’ve ever found yourself in any of the above situations, you are an enabler. You have enabled the man to cheat. How? Well, knowing upfront that a man is involved should have been a sign to you that he is “no good.” Grant it, he might be good in between the sheets, but morally, if he cheats on the woman he has at home with you, then first of all he has little respect for you.
Why be with a man that doesn’t respect you? If he doesn’t respect you, he will treat you like a trick. Oh, he might be spending some benjamins on you, but honey child, where is the respect?
Ask yourself, if you were the woman, would you like the fact that your man is out sleeping with someone else? You already know the answer to that is not NO, but in the words of Whitney, “Hell to the Naw.”
So the next time a man who has a wife or girlfriend offer you his love (a/k/a the beef) without hesitation, tell him you’re not the one and if that doesn’t work, threaten to kick him in the balls. Okay, that might be a little extreme, but you get the point.
C stands for Cheater–don’t be an enabler.
Oh No Shelia Didn't! 
Great post, Shelia. I’m always amused by women who got their man when he was cheating on his girlfriend or wife and the act so-oo shocked when he cheats on her. Like the old folks say, the way you got the man is the same way you’ll lose the man…
Gwyneth
“the way you got the man is the same way you’ll lose the man…”
Exactly Gwyneth. I still don’t know what the fascination is on purposely going after someone else’s man. I’m writing a story now where the character doesn’t care whether or not the man she thinks she loves is engaged. I’m hoping she gets some self-respect and see that she deserves better…we’ll see where the story goes.
I’ve actually wondered why I have come across a good number of women during my short stint on this earth who were OK with being the “other woman”. And they were all against cheating, all thought he was going to leave their other woman, all hated this poor girl, and all were mad when all they got in the end was the “pipe”.
Please … help us help ourselves …
This is a great article, don’t be an enabler. This is a common trend nowadays and I like that statement “the way you got the man is the same way you’ll lose the man…” in other words what you sow you will reap, if he cheats on his wife/gf most likely he will do it on you. Why do men feel the need to cheat, some say it’s a man’s thing, man shortage, nonsense, men can be faithful if they want to. Thanks for this article.
Great post!!!
It’s funny there are alot of women out there who think just because the man isn’t married yet he is not off limits.
In my opinion if he is talking, dating or in committed relationship he is off limits.
Give him time to deal with what he has.
One thing I have learned, Is what’s meant for you, Is for you.
As a man whose marriage ended because of a cheating wife, it amazes me that there was a man that was actually the ‘enabler’. Why I feel that men cheat at a higher rate than women do, the pain is still the same never the less. When I got married at 20-years old I did so knowing that my wife and I would always be together; that didn’t happen.
So five years after our divorce, my ex-wife and I have managed to become friends. I have left the past the past. I have a wonderful girlfriend now and I am looking forward to my future with her, and I am truly glad I was able to forgive my ex-wife because that helped me to move on with my life and trust women despite that incident.
Time heals all wounds; well at least in my case it did.
MARCUS LANGFORD
Marcus you are crazy, your marriage ended because of your cheating.
Single Black Male, sounds like in those instances, the man was good on convincing the “other woman” to go along with a lie he made up.
“In my opinion if he is talking, dating or in committed relationship he is off limits. ” WrkNProgress, I agree.
Marcus, thanks for sharing your story. It doesn’t make it right whether its the man or woman cheating. Thankfully, you were able to forgive and move on so you could find happiness elsewhere.
Peaches, I agree with you…I make no excuses. I’m tired of hearing “they can’t help it.” Yes, they can. A man can and will be faithful if he wants to.