Will the Independent Women Please Stand Up

Does it make you a gold digger because you like nice things and want to be spoiled by your significant other? There’s nothing wrong with a woman because she wants the royal treatment from the men she dates.

Does it make her less independent? I don’t think so. Independence is a state of being. If you’re independent, you know who you are. You don’t depend on a man or anyone for that matter to take care of your business (personal or otherwise). But it doesn’t mean you don’t want love and affection like the next woman.

As much as men confess to want an independent woman, some can’t deal with our independence. Why? I’ve been accused of being independent by several men. One day I asked a guy why he labeled me as such. He pointed out several reasons why: #1 Because I didn’t seem to need anything from anybody (at the time I owned my own house, car, etc..) My question to him was “why should I wait on a man to buy a house?” He had no response. #2 Because of my attitude. Now you know mentioning a woman and attitude in the same sentence to a woman will bring out an attitude (smile). I didn’t react, I listened to him. He went on to say that I was always nice to him but I had a nonchalant attitude about him and that he had to be the one to initiate the calls, etc. Well, hmm. I said, that I’m from the old school. If a man wants a woman, he should be pursuing her, not me pursuing him. He then went on to point out, that’s why he thinks I have an attitude. He was used to women calling him 24/7 apparently. He made a couple of other points but those are the two that I easily recall.

Can a man not deal with a woman who isn’t clingy (although they complain they hate a clingy woman)? Is it because they are insecure and the fact that if they are with an independent woman they can’t half-step.

I for one still need romance and I like nice things and I like being pampered. Reason being, when I’m in a relationship, my man is pampered. Whatever I give, is what I expect. Being independent doesn’t take away from the relationship. A man should be happy that he has a woman who can think for herself and do for herself.

To quote Destiny’s Child: All the ladies who truly feel me, Throw your hands up at me.

Do you think you being independent has helped or hurt your relationship with men?


6 comments on “Will the Independent Women Please Stand Up

  1. I agree, nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned (guy paying for things).

    Some of the guys you’ve encountered seem dumb, and very insecure. A lot of guys are conditioned from an early age to get a woman with material things. And when a woman already has those things, or can/will get them herself, those men don’t know what to do.

    I’m not independent, so I can’t say lol. From the relationships I’ve been in, I think being independent would have helped. Eliminated any of those nasty “She’s trying to pimp me” thoughts early on.

  2. I won’t say it has hurt my relationship, but it has made it a bit hard. At the same time, it has also helped. Just makes getting over those ‘I don’t need you’ moments all the more triumphant! 🙂

  3. i am only 14 years old, and i think that it is important to be independent in a relationship now and days, espessially in high school. becuse if you are depending on this one boy to buy you things and take care of you , you tend to get your feelings to involved. then one day just comes up and he has another chick down the hall that he is all up on. now you are hurt, start to fail in class, and depressed when all of this could have been avoyed only if you where a bit independent. i think of myself as independent. i dnt like others doing for me becuse i think that i can do bad all by myself. no opening the doors or nothing like that. but an ocasional movie or sumthing everyonce in awhile i really dont mind. nut if its constant like every time we go out, then that gets annoying.lol.

  4. I think women should be independent becoz these days men are turning into cowards.1 women are being abused everyday controlled because they have no source of income,they depend on men and therefore women have nowhere to go or leave that relationship.the number of single mothers is increasing men just have sex and leave u re the one who is left responsible. I’m a 21 year old boy who have seen enough of this. So women be independent that’s e only way and if men are scared of u then he is a coward. Do ur thing ladies

  5. i am independent since i own my family business…

    i think i scare men off because i am 28 and has never been in a relationship before…

    i also need to mention that i am full in figure…

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