Can a Tiger Change Its Spots (oops I meant stripes)

 How many times will you put yourself through the same types of pain? When is enough really ENOUGH?

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes you can’t. For example, a man I dearly loved. I thought the second time around things would be different. In fact, he assured me things would be and because I was starry-eyed in love I believed him. Of course the first month or two, he was on his best behavior. I was wined and dined and all that jazz. My guards went down and then one day I woke up and he was back to his old tricks. When I brought it up to him (because communication has never been one of my weak points), he thought I was nagging for no reason. Red flag.

When did voicing your concerns become nagging? If you’re with someone in what is supposed to be a committed relationship, shouldn’t you be able to tell that person any and everything and you work it out?

Anyway, to make a long story short, I thought this man had changed for the better, but he didn’t change his stripes, but only changed his spot(s)–he moved from one part of the Dallas metroplex to another (new spot); he no longer had the same job, had a better one (new spot); told me all the things he thought I wanted to hear (new spot) but that’s the thing…when he got tired of pretending, the REAL man resurfaced and all I saw before me was the same man I thought I had left behind.

Lesson for me, an ex is an ex for a reason and shall remain an ex.

Have you ever gone back to an ex? Has one of your siblings done something and you swore you wouldn’t give in to them the next time? What about the friend that drains you with his or her drama but is never there to listen to you? When do you finally say “enough is enough?”


4 comments on “Can a Tiger Change Its Spots (oops I meant stripes)

  1. Great post, Shelia. It has me thinking of all the cliches: never say never… Never go backwards only forward… once a dog always a dog (wait is that a cliche? LOL)

    Anyway, I think it was Maya Angelou who told Oprah, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” That advice has stuck with me and I try to remember it when I’m dealing with folks. In my twinkling twenties I had a trifling ex that I kept giving second chances to because I loved him… It takes a fool to learn…

    As for siblings it’s hard to just cut them off or not help them when they make the same mistakes over and over.


  2. I’ve gone back to an ex before. Despite all his good intentions & proclamations that this time would be “different”. Sometimes “different” ain’t different enough. Other times different in and of itself just ain’t enough.

  3. “Sometimes “different” ain’t different enough. Other times different in and of itself just ain’t enough.”

    Say it again sister. It just ain’t enough!

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